KATHLEEN NORTH – Page 6 – Gibraltar Insight

Friendship

2 years ago in Features by KATHLEEN NORTH

Our society tends to place an emphasis on romantic relationships. We think that just finding that right person will make us happy and fulfilled. But research shows that friends are actually even more important to our psychological welfare. Friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else.

Friendships have a huge impact on your mental health and happiness. Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, and prevent loneliness and isolation. Developing close friendships can also have a powerful impact on your physical health. Lack of social connection may pose as much of a risk as smoking, drinking too much, or leading a sedentary lifestyle. Friends are even tied to longevity. One Swedish study found that, along with physical activity, maintaining a rich network of friends can add significant years to your life.

But close friendships don’t just happen. Many of us struggle to meet people and develop quality connections. Whatever your age or circumstances, though, it’s never too late to make new friends, reconnect with old ones, and greatly improve your social life, emotional health, and overall well-being.

The benefits of friendships

While developing and maintaining friendships takes time and effort, healthy friendships can:

Improve your mood.

Spending time with happy and positive friends can elevate your mood and boost your outlook.

Help you to reach your goals.

Whether you’re trying to get fit, give up smoking, or otherwise improve your life, encouragement from a friend can really boost your willpower and increase your chances of success.

Reduce your stress and depression.

Having an active social life can bolster your immune system and help reduce isolation, a major contributing factor to depression.

Support you through tough times.

Even if it’s just having someone to share your problems with, friends can help you cope with serious illness, the loss of a job or loved one, the breakup of a relationship, or any other challenges in life.

Boost your self-worth.

Friendship is a two-way street, and the “give” side of the give-and-take contributes to your own sense of self-worth. Being there for your friends makes you feel needed and adds purpose to your life.

There are many benefits to having close friendships and social networks. Not only do friendships increase self-confidence and self-worth, but friends and confidants are also great for listening to problems and helping through difficult times, offering advice, help and support.

Friends can also help reduce stress and improve happiness. Adults with strong social and friendship circles can experience better overall health with lower risk of depression, unhealthy BMI, cognitive impairment and high blood pressure. Studies have also indicated that older adults with active social lives live longer and the risk of dementia is also decreased, so it’s time to widen the friendship net.

Dr Dimitrios Paschos is a Consultant Psychiatrist at Re: Cognition Health. He addresses the question of whether friendships develop any differently if you meet people via a website online community? ‘Meeting people virtually can be hugely beneficial – it enables individuals with similar interest to connect, it is very convenient as distance and time are not a problem, so people from all around the world can be friends. Meeting, virtually, provide a huge confidence boost for those who find new face to face social interactions a challenge. Initiating conversation can be easier, resulting in rapid development of a “virtual” friendship. Virtual friendships were a blessing, for many, throughout the pandemic helping people stay connected. However, it’s important to strike a balance and not get lost in the “online world”. A healthy mix of real life and virtual friendships is recommended in order to gain full emotional benefit.

Ultimately, nothing can substitute for real life connections – whilst they may take longer to develop, it is possible to read body language, hug and enjoy shared experiences such as walks, trips to galleries or the cinema and most importantly, give and receive emotional support.

How important are friendships to our overall physical and mental wellbeing? Friendships are imperative for people of all ages, helping to reduce the risk of mental health problems including depression, addiction, aggression and even dementia. In fact, throughout the pandemic, those living with dementia were at a higher risk of worsening symptoms due to social isolation. Loneliness can have a negative impact on physical health, reducing life expectancy and increasing the risk of obesity and cardiovascular disease.

Is it generally more or less challenging to create friendships as we grow older?

As we get older, life can become much busier with work and family commitments, with spare time becoming increasingly limited, making it hard to invest in existing and new friendships. Our friendship circle also starts decreasing around the age of 25 as we start losing touch with people or growing apart. A 2018 study concluded that it takes 50 hours of spending time with someone to take a relationship from acquaintance to friend and up to 200 hours nurturing a friendship, before it is considered a close friendship.

Some adults find it hard to make new friends, whether they are “out of practice” or struggling with confidence, but investing in fostering these close relationships is hugely important and beneficial’.

Dr Paschos’s developing friendship advice:

1) Take a lunch break. The socialising that happens during a lunch break with colleagues can have a positive impact on your enjoyment of the workplace, helping individuals develop friendships and encourage information sharing, which are beneficial to individuals as well as the workplace as a whole.

2) Join a club or social group. Having mutual hobbies and interests is a great start to making friends as an adult, helping foster relationships faster and more easily. Whether it’s sport, cars, gardening, craft or areas of academia, you will meet like-minded people and have ready-made conversation starters!

3) Be open to new experiences and opportunities. It’s important to explore things out of your comfort zone – this could open a whole new world of possibilities and friendships

4) Reconnect with old friends. There are so many reasons for losing touch with friends over the years. There could be an instant friendship circle ready to reignite and it is surprising how easy it can be to pick up where you left off; regardless of the years that have passed.

5) Make an effort. Friendships do take commitment and it’s important to invest the time in friendships on a regular basis.

Dr Dimitrios Paschos, Consultant Psychiatrist at Re:Cognition Health www.recognitionhealth.com.

Rejig your Relationships

2 years ago in Features by KATHLEEN NORTH

However loving and committed relationships are, there are periods within them when we can feel jaded and disconnected to our loved one. We face challenges that create difficulties in our relationship.

How can we recognise what our relationship challenges are?

Relationship coach Mandy Mee states ‘Relationships aren’t a walk in the park and it takes mindfulness to maintain a healthy relationship. If you’re unaware there’s a problem in your relationship, then the problem can’t be solved.

The first point of recognising a challenge in your relationship is by identifying how your relationship makes you feel.

To long for your partner’s company after a long day at work considering that’s where you find peace of mind is a sign of a healthy relationship but if your relationship makes you feel uneasy and uncertain, perhaps mediocre, there’s a problem that needs to be addressed.

A healthy relationship should make you feel content, happy, loved and excited for the future together.

When two people find a connection with one another, it’s important to understand their attachment style. This helps you build your relationship mindfully on a conscious level. Instead of “reacting” to your partner’s ways, having knowledge of their attachment style allows you to “respond” in a way you’re heard and not misunderstood.

Other ways of identifying relationship challenges is through complaints. What do you find yourself disagreeing with on occasion or what do you complain most about that still isn’t resolved?

Jealousy can also be an identifying factor which can stem from an Anxious or Disorganised Attachment Style. Jealousy is a place of lack and desire. However if you view jealousy from a positive perspective, you’re able to identify issues in your relationship.

For instance if you’re jealous of the relationship of a friend, here are common signs which can serve as a guide towards identifying your own relationship challenges.

Commitment

You’re jealous your peers’ relationship has led to a life partnership such as marriage.

Relationship Challenge – Marriage

You haven’t reached that level of commitment yet with your partner.

Sexual Intimacy

You’re jealous your peers can’t seem to stop talking about how sexually satisfied they are with their partner.

Relationship Challenge – Sexual Dissatisfaction

You lack sexual intimacy in your own relationship.

No Date Nights

You’re jealous your friends have routined date nights with their partner and they always seem happier as a result.

Relationship Challenge – Lack of activities

You can’t remember the last time you did anything fun in your relationship. You feel a void and distant.

Unresolved issues can have a long term effect on your relationship. Instead of repressing these problems, make a list of them and be strategic with how you choose to communicate them to your partner to reach a healthy solution.

Understandably some couples may avoid addressing certain issues due to a lack of confidence, fear of hurting or losing their partner. If this is the case, familiarise yourself with your communication style and learn how to be assertive.

Assertive communication allows you to convey your emotions effectively, shows signs you’re able to deal with conflict, resolve relationship issues, boosts your self esteem, self worth and allows you to stand up for yourself, which in turn derives respect from others.

How can we develop positive strategies to bring the fun, spontaneity and closeness back to the forefront?

Relationships are like flowers you have to water, trim its dead roots and leaves to maintain their bloom.

Life has a way of making you lose track of being present in your relationship. From financial development, to maintaining a household, managing children, mental health, and career goals.

We’re humans, and if there’s one thing we all are familiar with, is that life itself is one hell of a whirlwind so are relationships.

It’s a common phenomenon to fall in and out of love with your partner. Attraction may fade with age, routine becomes a norm, boredom becomes rife and your romantic relationship pivots into what feels like a platonic friendship or companionship with no romance.

Before you find ways to bring the fun, spontaneity and closeness back to a relationship, learn your partner’s needs and how they receive love.

The way you feel love may be different from how your partner wants to be loved.

Imagine trying to reignite the spark in your relationship by showering your partner with gifts when all they want is your presence and quality time. Your effort will go to waste considering your partner doesn’t resonate receiving gifts as Love.

Once you’re aware of your partner’s love language, you’re equipped with some direction on how to get creative with the development of your relationship.

Mandy outlines tips to reignite the spark in your relationship;

Date as though you just met

Get to know your partner all over again. Find out what makes them happy, understand their perspective on life and relationships. Ask intimate questions that will help you connect with their soul. If you’re unaware of questions to ask, do some research or try Dr Arthur Aron 36 Questions To Fall In Love.

Play

Relationships are about having fun for life. Embrace the child in you and have some fun. Play a round of crazy golf, dance in the rain, pillow fight at home, sky dive, paddle board, incorporate fun activities that either involve competition or an adrenalin rush.

Go on a staycation

You don’t have to go abroad to feel like you’re on a vacation. Find local resorts that offer a romantic ambiance such as forest of dean in the UK.

Or you can plan a number of activities to do around a road trip to the countryside or a city in another town.

Revisit the past

Tracing your footsteps back to day 1 can bring back good memories of how you fell in love. If you have pictures, that can also come into play with your creativity.

Always show your partner appreciation, either a thank you or shower them with compliments. A show of appreciation makes them feel valued and wanted.’

For more tips, contact Matchmaker & Relationship Coach, Mandy Mee at “The MME Agency”. An exclusive Matchmaking & Coaching Agency for Professionals and Celebrities.

Christmas Volunteers

2 years ago in Features by KATHLEEN NORTH

The Christmas season, especially Christmas Day is a time to enjoy simple but incredibly important pleasures: food, warmth, family – perhaps a hot toddy or 2.

Sadly, not everyone is in a personal or financial position to experience the kind of Christmas we all love and will in time, reminisce about.

Thankfully, there are individuals who give their time, energy and kindness to creating a Christmas special for those who find themselves without emotional and practical support.

One such person is Dawn Tuckwell, 39, from Stoke Newington London. Dawn is a co-founder and director of a PR and marketing business specialising in health and wellness. This is her personal experience:

‘I heard about the Crash Pad and Pilion Trust nine years ago and was told they were looking for volunteers.

The Crash Pad is the only shelter of its kind that looks after 18-23 year olds who find themselves homeless and in need of support. Set up because night shelters were a scary place for young homeless people to stay. The work these guys do is incredible and the success stories of the young people who have been housed, found great jobs and some gone on to volunteer themselves in later years has been amazing.

It runs during the cold weather months so from December – end of April usually – this is often dependent on how much fund raising they manage to achieve.

I have been very fortunate to always have a roof over my head and friends and family whom I know will always be there if I needed them. I could not begin to imagine how frightening and lonely it must be to not have anyone to turn to in times of hardship. The Crash Pad really struck a chord with me. To have such young people slip through the system have so little support was a real eye opener and is heart breaking to see.

Running a business is hard work and involves long hours but it also gives me the freedom to dictate when I work those hours. After the first year of working with the Crash Pad I decided that I would rearrange my hours to allow me to dedicate an evening / night / morning per week to The Crash Pad and I am so pleased I did so. The Crash Pad has given me so much and has always been the favourite part of my week.

Before Covid I was managing Thursday evenings through to Friday mornings. Crash Pad houses young people in crisis and at risk and runs seven days a week. The young people are provided with a bed, clean sheets, dinner and breakfast and somewhere to wash.

The young people stay with us until we can find somewhere more long term for them so we often become one big family. They get a structure and routine into their lives while they consider their futures.

We cook dinner and breakfast for the young people and we all sit down to eat together. We also take turns in each of the young people assisting with cooking each evening and have a rota in place for cleaning as well.

Christmas is always a difficult time for the young people but it’s also always been a difficult time for me as well. Selfishly I think the Crash Pad also helps me to put things into perspective. We have so much and take so much for granted. When I meet these young people, some of whom have fled a dangerous situation with nothing but the clothes on their back and have no one to turn to for support, I realise how small my worries really are.

The first year I volunteered over the Christmas Eve and Christmas day I’d just been through the break-up of a long term relationship and was dreading Christmas even more than usual.

Volunteering actually gave me more than I could have imagined and allowed me to forget about what I was going through and focus on supporting those more in need. Since then I’ve preferred to be there than anywhere else at Christmas. It can be emotionally hard sometimes to see these young people struggling and I’d be lying if I said I don’t find it tough sometimes because you want to be able to help more but I’d rather be there than not.

You’d be surprised how many people offer to support these charities on Christmas day but it’s Christmas Eve that often is even harder for these young people – knowing that they are waking up on Christmas Day without their family. Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are also harder to find volunteers for than Christmas Day itself.

Christmas eve I usually help prepare the lunch for the following day ahead of us cooking the next morning. I know emotionally it’s hard for them on Christmas Eve so we all try to be there as much as we can to keep them busy.

On Christmas day we cook lunch and eat together. Local businesses often provide treats and gifts for them as well. We’re really lucky to have the support of local businesses and churches in Islington – they do go above and beyond to ensure we have gits and food for the young people at Christmas. I know that so many of them have never seen real kindness in their lives.’

What’s incredible is that over the years I’ve seen some of the young people who stayed with us at the Crash Pad years before come back and volunteer themselves and also come and join us on Christmas Day. Seeing how well they are now doing gives real hope to those who are staying with us at the time, and to see the family and support network they have developed.’

Pilion Trust:

http://piliontrust.info/

You can find out more about The Crash Pad project here:

http://piliontrust.info/crash-pad-project

The Crash Pad has been given the go ahead to open again this year as we were forced to close due to Covid restrictions last year.

You can donate here:

https://www.justgiving.com/piliontrust

Hypnotherapy

3 years ago in Features by KATHLEEN NORTH

Hypnotherapy is a type of mind-body intervention in which hypnosis is used to create a state of focused attention and increased suggestibility in the treatment of a medical or psychological disorder or concern.

Clinical Hypnotherapist Helen Brooks aka ‘the Tummy Whisperer’ is a clinical hypnotherapist with a Degree in Applied Psychology who focuses her expertise on helping and treating sufferers of IBS. She helps clients where dietary changes and medication have failed to reduce symptoms.

Helen states that ‘hypnotherapy is the use of hypnosis as a therapeutic technique. It is a form of therapy that utilises the subconscious mind to bring about change. In a relaxed but focused state of awareness, the hypnotherapist can use positive suggestions which are accepted by the subconscious mind to help bring about changes in thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

There are many different therapeutic techniques within the field of hypnotherapy ranging from post-hypnotic suggestion through to more analytical methods, regression or the use of metaphors and visualisations to help solve problems. If you have a deep-seated emotional problem or bad habit you just can’t break it is likely influenced by the subconscious mind. It is therefore important to engage the subconscious mind to bring about change. Hypnotherapy can help you take back control and access your own inner strengths and resources.

Hypnotherapy can help with a wide variety of emotional issues and is really effective in helping to relieve anxiety, fears and phobias. It is helpful for working with habits such as stopping smoking and nail-biting and can help with creating healthier habits like healthy eating.

Hypnotherapy is often misunderstood because of stage hypnosis and stuff on TV. It’s wrongly associated with power, control and belief. You are not under someone’s control, powerless or unconscious, you don’t have to believe in it to work and you most certainly won’t be made to cluck like a chicken, in fact, hypnotherapy is used in a variety of medical and professional settings. It can be used in operations instead of anaesthesia, it’s used for dental work to slow the flow of blood from tooth extractions, it can be used to reduce blood pressure, ease the side effects of chemotherapy and speeds the healing of wounds and recovery from surgery. It’s also used by Olympic athletes to improve performance and so much more.

There are certain physical issues it has been shown to be particularly helpful for. I specialise in a specific type of hypnotherapy called gut-directed hypnotherapy which is a well researched and clinically proven way to make long term changes to Irritable bowel syndrome. Gut directed hypnotherapy is using hypnotherapy

to change the function of the gut. It works by restoring the communication between the gut and brain, reducing the hypersensitivity of the nerve cells and relieving IBS. Hypnotherapy also

teaches the mind to control the gut, rather than the gut controlling you.

Stress and anxiety exacerbates IBS symptoms and hypnotherapy can counteract this by activating the parasympathetic nervous system which stimulates the body’s rest and digest phase. Hypnosis can also help change subconscious responses to situations such as the fear of needing the toilet when away from home or the fear of eating certain foods. Alleviating these fears helps to keep the mind and body working together in harmony and stops the fight or flight response adding to digestive disturbance.

In gut-directed hypnotherapy, the suggestions are focused on creating physical changes such as; your digestion works smoothly and comfortably, you are free from bloating and discomfort, you are in control of your bowels. They would also be focused on improving emotional wellbeing; you feel more relaxed each day, you are calmer and much more self-confident.

Imagery is a powerful way to communicate with the subconscious mind and various metaphors and visualisations are used in sessions. You may imagine you are drinking a soothing healing liquid that coats your entire digestive system and soothes discomfort, restores regular bowel movements and eases bloating. Your subconscious then uses these images to create physical changes so you experience relief.’

What Are the Benefits of Hypnosis?

The hypnotic state allows a person to be more open to discussion and suggestion. It can improve the success of other treatments for many conditions, including:

• Phobias fears, and anxiety

• Sleep disorders

• Depression

• Stress

• Post-trauma anxiety

• Grief and loss

Hypnosis also might be used to help with pain control and to overcome habits, such as smoking or overeating. It also might be helpful for people whose symptoms are severe or who need crisis management.

Techniques

During a hypnotherapy session, people are guided through a process to induce a trance-like state that helps them focus their minds, respond more readily to suggestions and become deeply relaxed. Hypnotherapy utilizes the heightened awareness of the hypnotic state to help you focus on a problem more deeply. 3 Hypnotherapy utilizes techniques including:

Relaxation: You will be guided by the hypnotherapist to visualize yourself in a state of peacefulness and relaxation, even when confronting a problematic behaviour or the object of your fears.

Suggestion: Your hypnotherapist may make gentle suggestions for behaviour changes that can help you conquer your issue. For example, you may be taught to see yourself as a supportive advisor during a phobic reaction, thus learning to trust yourself and your ability to get through the situation.

Coping skills: You may be taught certain cognitive-behavioral coping skills, such as guided imagery and the STOP! technique that you can use when confronting fears or anxieties.

Caitlin Thorpe is one of Helen’s clients. ‘I had tried different things before working with Helen (e.g. dietary changes, probiotics, lifestyle changes etc), and was despairing wondering if I could ever find something that would help. I am so grateful that I got to work with Helen. I have experienced improvements in my IBS I didn’t previously think were possible. Working with Helen has been a life-changing experience.’

Hypnotherapy is a gentle yet powerful way of working and is suitable for pretty much everyone from children to the elderly. It’s a natural holistic approach that can be used in many ways.

Helen Brooks website thetummywhisperer.co.uk

Doula support, or ‘mothering the mother’

3 years ago in Health & Beauty by KATHLEEN NORTH

Doulas provide emotional and practical support during pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period. According to Doula UK. While doulas are not there to change outcomes, there is growing evidence that having a birth or postnatal doula brings a number of tangible benefits, from reducing intervention rates to shortening labour and improving the condition of babies at birth. Other benefits include an increased likelihood of successful breastfeeding and lower rates of postnatal depression.

Doula support, or ‘mothering the mother’, can be vital in today’s society. Women have supported women having babies since the beginning of time. The community surrounding a woman, their “village”, would come together to give hands-on help and emotional support. Today, we are living differently; often working longer hours, having children later and with more opportunity to live in different places. A result may be a loss of that “village”. The doula community helps women find it again.

Throughout history, women have been supported by other women during childbearing. Yet, as families begin living farther apart and as birth becomes increasingly medicalized, fewer women receive this kind of support. Because they have many other responsibilities and are usually attending more than one woman, doctors, maternity nurses — and sometimes even midwives can rarely be with a woman continuously. Fathers and partners offer support, but they too are experiencing the birth of their baby and coping with their new and evolving identities. serves.

A doula should have no judgement, their role is simply to nurture unconditionally, through care, support and love, so that birthing people can focus their energies on loving and caring for their babies and themselves.

Labor and postpartum doulas have stepped into this vacuum a space traditionally filled by the mothers, aunts, sisters, grandparents and neighbors in our communities and their use is becoming more popular in the United States and around the world.

There is, however, a lack of understanding of the doula role and a shortage of doula support available to disadvantaged families.

There should definitely be more community-based doulas or doula programmes.

The services doulas offer depend on their training and skills, but include:

• Birth education

• Creating a birth plan

• Discussing and healing from previous births

• Continuous labour support

• Partner support

• What to do if you go past your due date

• Massage and other comfort measures, such as pressure points

• Suggesting positions to help ease pain

• Discussing options for pain relief

• Emotional support for the pregnancy and birth

• Assisting with your birth environment (lighting candles, playing music in the delivery room)

• Assisting you with negotiation of your birth choices

• Photography and/or video of the labor, birth, and golden hour

• Breastfeeding help when the baby is born.

A doctor is focused on keeping the baby safe and sound, but a doula is focused only on the mother. The biggest benefit of having a doula is that you have a woman trained and experienced with labour and birth, whose sole job is to support you. A doula doesn’t also have to do anything medical or check on other patients like a doctor might. She is there for you and your needs. You might be thinking, my partner will be by my side; he’ll tend to me but keep in mind that the birth experience can be extremely emotional and surreal for him, too. He might not even know how to help you. That’s where the doula steps in. The doula provides reassurance to the partner when everything is going smoothly, and helps facilitate communication between the mother and her partner when it’s not. Doulas can also tag team with the partner to provide labor support to the mum so that the partner gets to rest when he needs to. A doula understands the importance of the birth experience, so she aims to help make sure those memories are as positive as possible.

Alison Ogier has been a Birth and Post Natal Doula since 2011.

Here, Alison outlines what a doula does.

‘Doulas work with families throughout their pregnancy journey, birth and immediate post natal period. They provide a non judgemental, evidenced based approach to the specific needs and wants of that family which includes sign posting to information on birthing choices and all the options open to them along with an unbiased collection of stats for each family to decide for themselves what is applicable to them. They provide emotional and practical support during birth by bringing a calm presence, reminding each family of their options along the way as well as hands on support such as massage, pool filling and initiating breastfeeding.

Post natally Doulas are there to provide support as the family adjusts to the new dynamic so this might include breastfeeding support, cooking, light house work and listening as we are there in a debriefing capacity too.’

I became a Doula due to the lack of continuity of care in maternity services and wanting to provide families with an unbiased approach to their journey as the health care professionals do not always present things as a choice. My goal is simply for people to not regret any choices made as well as feel heard and positive about their birthing experience.

What I get from it is knowing that each family I support is more educated, empowered and in tune with each other to facilitate a healthy parenting journey. They will know their choices and have the conviction to follow their instincts regardless of race, religion or socio economic circumstance.’

There can be huge benefits to having a doula. First, because they will be with you all the way through your pregnancy and labour. That means you get to know them well, which can be very reassuring – especially if your maternity service can’t provide the same continuity.

Doulas can also provide continuous support during labour and birth. Research has found that continuous support during labour and birth is beneficial for women and for their babies.

Doulas have also been shown to yield good results for vulnerable women or women who need more culturally sensitive support. So if that’s relevant to you, it might be worth seriously considering a doula as an option.

Doula UK – www.doula.org.uk

Alison Ogier – Birth and Post Natal Doula

www.dinkydoula.co.uk

Good Gut Health

3 years ago in Health & Beauty by KATHLEEN NORTH

Did you know that there are about 40 trillion bacteria in your body, most of which are in your intestines. Most of these bacteria are good for you, especially the ones found in your gut which not only help you digest food, but which can also be good for your physical and mental health.

The signs of an unhealthy gut can often show up as problematic digestive symptoms such as constipation, diarrhoea, stomach-ache, heartburn or indigestion.

So just what should and shouldn’t you eat to keep your gut healthy? Eating a wide variety of whole, unprocessed foods, including fibre, probiotics and a range of fruit and vegetables, is an important baseline for good gut health. The three worst foods for your gut include alcohol, sugar and artificial sweeteners and emulsifiers.

The good news is that eating certain fruits, nuts and seeds can offer health benefits for your gut. Some of these gut-friendly food products can even be eaten as snacks, which is great for when you’re feeling a little hungry between meals and want to munch on something tasty. Most of the fruits, nuts and seeds mentioned below supply healthy oils such as Omega 3 (walnuts) and are also high in protein plus essential minerals.

Walnuts are packed full of good fats, minerals and vitamins thought to support your mood and give you a glow and evidence also suggests these brain-shaped kernels are also good for your mental performance. One study found that eating a small number of walnuts every day can improve gut health. Holland & Barrett Organic Walnuts are noted for their soft, sweet, nutty taste and are a source of Biotin, Manganese and Copper. The light amber walnut pieces can be used in all kinds of cooking and baking recipes. Why not add some to salads and pasta dishes for a little crunch or put some ground walnuts in to your mincemeat when you are cooking chilli or Bolognese.

Holland & Barrett Roasted Pistachio Nuts are high in dietary fibre and perfect for on-the-go snacking. Eating pistachios may help the overall health of your gut health by keeping digestion moving. Dietary fibre usually moves through the digestive system undigested. However, some fibres work as prebiotics in the system as they’re digested by the good bacteria in your system.

Macadamia Nuts are rich in soluble fibre, which acts as a prebiotic in the gut, encouraging good bacteria to blossom there. Enjoy macadamia nuts on top of salads, sprinkled on soups or served with roast veggies, or if you want a healthy snack, try a pack of Holland & Barrett Almonds, Macadamia Nuts & Cranberry.

Flaxseed is rich in fibre which can help prevent constipation and other digestive issues. Another bonus of flaxseed is that it keeps you feeling fuller for longer, stopping you from reaching for those unhealthy snacks. Flaxseed oil, also known as Linseed oil, is an excellent natural source of Alpha Linolenic Acid (ALA) which is an Omega-3 fatty acid. As the body is unable to produce them on its own, Omega-3 fatty acids are essential dietary additions. Take one or two Holland & Barrett Vegetarian Flaxseed Oil capsules daily or get into the habit of stirring two heaped dessert spoons of Linwoods Milled Flaxseed & Goji Berries into your morning bowl of porridge, cereal or muesli.

Unsalted seeds, including sunflower seeds, are also excellent sources of fibre, which aids digestion. Sunflower seeds also contain antioxidants like selenium and vitamin E to help protect cells and prevent chronic disease. Grab a bag of Holland & Barrett Stunning Sunflower Seeds and enjoy a daily handful.

Dates have many nutritional benefits and they are high in fibre which may help prevent constipation and improve your digestive health. They are also a versatile ingredient that you can enjoy in both sweet and savoury dishes. For a refreshing dessert, peel 4 oranges and remove the white pith. Place the orange segments in a bowl along with any juices, then add some Holland & Barrett Chopped Dates, some rose syrup or rosewater and toss gently. Divide between 4 dessert bowls, scatter on mint leaves and serve – delicious!

Prunes have been part of our grandparents’ folklore where they were known as a good remedy to help with constipation. They are a source of both insoluble and soluble fibre: insoluble fibre helps keep your bowel movements regular, while soluble fibre helps to moderate digestion and absorb nutrients from your food. Aim to eat 5-6 Holland & Barrett Pitted Californian Prunes daily to boost your digestive health.

Vegetarians and vegans sometimes experience digestive issues whey they start eating plants, but over time a new balance will become established. Cashews, pine nuts, hazelnuts, peanuts, almonds, pistachios, walnuts, and macadamia nuts are all good for gut health but are also great sources of iron for vegetarians. To add more iron into your diet, take 10ml of Floradix Formula Herbal Iron available from Holland & Barrett twice a day, approximately 30 minutes before morning and evening meals.

Animal assisted therapy

3 years ago in Features by KATHLEEN NORTH

Animal assisted therapy is an alternative or complementary type of therapy that includes the use of animals in a treatment. It falls under the realm of Animal Assisted Intervention, which encompasses any intervention that includes an animal in a therapeutic context such as emotional support animals, service animals trained to assist with daily activities, and animal assisted activity.

Being around animals can help lower our blood pressure and heart rate and reduce our anxiety and tensions. Of course, animals make people feel less isolated and alone. More generally, even patting a dog can lower your risk of heart attack, seizure and stroke.

Animal-assisted therapy can be classified by the type of animal, the targeted population, and how the animal is incorporated into the therapeutic plan. The most commonly used types of animal-assisted therapy are canine-assisted therapy and equine-assisted therapy. The goal of animal-assisted therapy is to improve a patient’s social, emotional, or cognitive functioning and literature reviews state that animals can be useful for educational and motivational effectiveness for participants. Studies have documented the positive effects of the therapy as reported on subjective self-rating scales and on objective physiological measures such as blood pressure and hormone levels.

Pets in Hospital is a scheme funded and coordinated by University Hospitals Birmingham (UHB) Charity whereby volunteers bring their dogs in to visit patients and staff around our hospitals. The scheme has been running since July 2018 and has been incredibly successful.

UHB Charity started Pets in Hospital, as research has shown that animals can help reduce anxiety, stress and perceived pain levels through distraction therapy, and overall can have a positive impact on improving patient wellbeing. They can also help enhance patient interaction and communication and create a friendly and positive working environment for the staff on the wards. Overall, pets can be a comfort to patients, families and staff and we have definitely seen this through our scheme.

Pets in Hospital currently have 12 dogs which, prior to Covid-19, visited patients around the Queen Elizabeth Hospital Birmingham on a regular basis. Monty, Isla, Coco, Ozzy, Basil, Bailey, Stella, Bella, Bonnie, Tommy, Bella and Tilly are all our dogs are who well groomed, wear official Pets in Hospital uniform and are badged. They have all been specially assessed by are up to date with vaccinations and are microchipped. They carried out regular visits to patients on wards such as Radiotherapy and the Cancer Centre, Young Persons Cancer unit, Critical Care and the older person’s wards.

Senior Fundraising and Communications Officer and Pets in Hospital Coordinator, Ellie Pocock said: ‘Coordinating this scheme has been a pleasure. Not only has the feedback from staff, patients and families been remarkable, but I have been able to see the benefits of these visits first hand. I have seen the extremely positive effects the dogs have on patients, putting a big smile on their face, improving their communication and interaction, which in turn improves their hospital experience.’

For those of us who love dogs, we know that being around a calm and loving animal can help to lift spirits and reduce anxiety. For many people, the companionship of a four-legged friend has been source of comfort throughout their life, and research has proven that patients can benefit from interacting with a dog whilst in hospital. Not only can the presence of a friendly and calm dog bring joy to a patient, it can aid interaction with staff and family members, and improve their wellbeing.

Manuela Castello is a volunteer. Here are her thoughts on what volunteering means to her

‘Stella started as Pets as Therapy dog and when I heard there was the possibility of volunteering at the QE, I jumped at this chance as I was a patient myself at QE and I wanted to give something back.

Stella is a Maremma Sheepdog, an ancient Italian breed of dog, traditionally used to protect the sheep while they are up in the mountains in Italy.

Stella is a special dog. She is so sweet and happy, and even if she is a big dog, somehow she is very gentle and you would not realize that she is actually there! I used to visit Critical care and the Cancer Centre (a department very dear to me), and my role was just to introduce Stella to anyone who was looking to cuddle a big soft bear. Being able to see the change of expression in patients is priceless; the ability to give a few minutes of comfort, happiness and put a smile on someone, even if in very difficult moments, makes you realize how fragile and unpredictable life is, and how much we should cherish every moment. I remember once we were up in a ward on the seventh floor, this patient had not talked for some time, but when she saw Stella, she spoke! It was a very humbling moment for everyone present. You would need many pages to explain the benefits of a dog in hospital, putting a smile on someone’s face, give hope even for a brief moment, and hoping that if one day you are in the same situation, a big dog would come to see you and will bright up your day.’

Animal therapy builds on a concept called the human-animal bond which describes people’s desire to interact with and relate to animals. For many people, by interacting with a friendly animal, they can form a bond with them. This bond can produce a calming state in the person.

This bond itself may help the person in several ways:

• reducing boredom

• increasing movement and activity through walks and play

• providing companionship and decreasing loneliness

• increasing social interactions

• improving mood and general well-being

The positive interactions with an animal may lead to benefits in the mind and body, such as reduced stress and an overall more balanced mental and emotional state.

Being busy

3 years ago in Health & Beauty by KATHLEEN NORTH

We live in a society that praises hard work and productivity, so being busy all the time can make you feel as though you are winning in life and can elevate your sense of social status.

Trying to be at our best all the time creates a feeling of importance and can become addictive. When busyness is glorified and encouraged, you may end up overextending yourself with varied obligations, appointments, commitments, and responsibilities. Busyness may lead to feeling:

• Anxious

• Stressed

• Overwhelmed

• Inadequate

• Sad

• Frustrated

• Angry

• Lonely

• Hopeless

• Incompetent

• Guilty

If you are unable to complete tasks or uphold the many obligations you have dedicated yourself to, you may end up feeling guilty, or as if you’ve let yourself of others down. If you derive self-worth through being productive and completing tasks, feeling as if you’re falling short can impact your perception of yourself.

How easy is it for you to say no to others demands on your time? Really think about where you can cut back. Ask yourself some questions: What are the things that make you feel so heavy and exhausted even just thinking about doing them? What are the “shoulds” on your list that you’re doing because you think they make you a good person/family member/employee? Another thing to consider is that the most recent obligation added to your pile can often be the first to go.

You might not do this skillfully at first. You have conditioned yourself and – possibly everyone in your life – to expect you to be a super person. There’s going to be pushback and you are going to be uncomfortable, so don’t look for it to necessarily feel good.

Natalie Trice, Career Coach and PR Mentor asks ‘How often has someone asked you how you are, and regardless of what is really going on in your life, you cheerily answer, ‘busy, busy’, which can brush over a multitude of issues that we just don’t want to own up, or even admit to ourselves.

In modern life, being ‘busy’ is almost a badge of honour that gives us status amongst others, and a sense of validation for ourselves, and whether we are busy or not, using it as a status update is an ingrained response that so many of us use.

The reality is, while we might feel the need to trot out this well-versed line for fear of people thinking we are lazy or slacking, being busy, or appearing so, isn’t always good for us, and can actually be detrimental to our mental and physical wellbeing.

There is no doubt that lives are busy and pressures are real, but if you are constantly on the go, always saying yes – even if you are at capacity, and on a mission to prove your worth by how many plates you are spinning, they may all come crashing down.

Being busy is one thing, but being productive and efficient, healthy and rested are far more balancing and, in the long term, will serve you much better. When we keep doing the same things over and over, we can forget that there is more to life than how many jobs we have on the go and how many people are counting on us to help them.

You can’ change things overnight, but there are some simple ways you can change your busy default settings, and these include:

Going technology-free can be a great way to turn down those busy vibes, as not only will it free up your time, but it can also help you to stop telling the world just how busy you are. As we scroll through social media we often see family and friends listing their endless activities and achievements and all too often those posts are liked and commented on, further perpetuating the need for more busy updates.

Being honest might feel hard, but rather than saying busy, maybe it’s that you are feeling rushed, overwhelmed, or maybe even bored, can break the cycle. It isn’t a sin not to be jam-packed with work, or to admit things are feeling a bit too much, and it could well be that leads to a new project to fill your time, or someone offering to help you out so you can breathe again.

Taking breaks won’t make you more or less busy, but it can give you perspective. When you have your head down and don’t come up for air, you can become increasingly stressed, taking on even more tasks, and adding to an already overflowing to-do list. Going outside, meeting friends for a coffee, or even putting your ‘out of office’ on one afternoon a week can help ease that busy burden and give you time to look at what is most important, what you can delegate and changes you can make the will allow you to live a life you live, rather than one that keeps your peddling until you reach burnout.’

People addicted to being busy are often bad at relaxing as they may feel anxious and guilty at being unproductive.

If you can relate to these signs of being overbusy, and you are using a packed schedule to avoid issues or emotions, then self-care is important.

When you notice you aren’t busy and feel worried, know that filling your schedule up will only put off the inevitable. Pause, take a breath and let the emotion be.

While being busy may positively impact your self-esteem, if you are so busy that you are unable to practice self-care, spend time with loved ones, and enjoy your free time, being overbooked can actually have a harmful effect on your overall well-being.

Even though it may feel challenging to shift your priorities, disconnecting from work or unnecessary obligations and deliberately resting and taking time for yourself can significantly boost your quality of life. It is a positive step for your own physical and mental health.

Natalie Trice
Career Coach and PR Mentor
www.natalietrice.co.uk

Return to the office

3 years ago in Features by KATHLEEN NORTH

Lockdown has affected us all in different ways, and it is only normal to feel uncertain about what the future holds

Many people feel confused, worried and apprehensive about the changes going on around them – whether this means more people coming into work, going back to the workplace, or working alongside colleagues and customers again. Many organisations are exploring new hybrid working arrangements, while others will be considering a range of adjustments to the way work is done, to comply with government recommendations. These adjustments will depend on your job, and your individual circumstances.

For many, working from home has offered a lot of benefits. In fact, globally, eight out of ten countries rank not having to commute first on their list of benefits. People also value the ability to focus and be productive with less distractions of the office. They also like the range of settings where they can get their work done at home. Apparently, the opportunity to work from the kitchen, the living room or the home office offers a (surprising) amount of fulfillment. Globally, workers value greater work-life balance, more time for family, increased flexibility and greater autonomy.

There are also things people miss about the office. Isolation was the greatest concern from people working at home. We need our people, we miss our colleagues and work is a fundamental way this desire for belonging and community is fulfilled. Of course we can connect virtually, but it’s just not the same. If the social isolation weren’t problematic enough, people also felt they were becoming gradually less productive, and they were experiencing reduced engagement and slower decision making.

As you approach your changed workplace, there are some general principles that will give you the best chance of staying mentally healthy over the coming months.

Connect

It is important to keep in touch with colleagues and your line manager. You don’t need to talk about work, but a quick check-in will help you feel connected. We have all been impacted by the coronavirus in different ways. You may have been bereaved, felt overwhelmed or isolated, or been unwell. If you share this with others they will be better able to help you in the months ahead.

Prepare and Plan

Think about your job and your situation. Does anything need to change to help you do your job well? If you haven’t been told what to expect, ask what provisions have been made to create a safe work environment. It can be helpful to think through what will happen on the first day back after lockdown:

• How will you get to work?

• Will anything be different as you enter the building?

• Who will be there?

• Will you need to do things differently to get your job done?

There is an opportunity for you to identify your work priorities and raise any concerns or questions that you have. Things don’t always come out right first time, so if you have something important you want to talk about, try practicing the conversation with a friend, colleague or family member. This will give you the best chance of getting your thoughts across.

It is important to have regular check-ins with yourself (How am I coping? Could I do more to help stay mentally healthy?) and check-ins with your team and manager (How are we working? Is there anything we could do differently to work better together?). This way you can address issues as they come up and start to plan and prepare for the journey through COVID-19 together.

Everyone is finding their own path and things might not always go to plan. It is important to be kind to yourself and to be kind to others as we all find our way.

Victoria McLean is the Founder & CEO of City CV. She states ‘The last 18 months have seen one of the biggest cultural shifts in the way we work in recent history. The ‘new normal’ of working from home has caused a huge divide, with some employees favouring their new-found flexibility, and others left feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and fatigued by the Zoom-boom burnout.

So, as we begin the much-anticipated return to the office, what can be done to create a sense of community in an anxious environment, as well as ensure the promotion of happy, healthy practices?

These key areas are the most likely to cause stress or anxiety in returning to the office, but we have some suggestions on how to approach and overcome them.

Firstly,is the anxiety of contracting Covid. While the ongoing vaccination scheme seeks to reduce this risk, it’s understandable that some people will be concerned about the lack of social distancing, and therefore the increased risk of catching Covid. It’s essential that businesses recognise and respect this, ensuring employees feel comfortable by providing access to appropriate PPE, facilitating social distancing, and being aware that some employees may feel too self-conscious to admit their concerns.

Secondly, in the relocation of thousands of employees, businesses were able to overcome and adapt to the logistical challenges of home working. This has enabled people to spend more time doing what they love, avoid commuting congestion, take longer lunches, and reduce costs such as childcare and eating out. It has also meant that many once-necessary procedures have been on hiatus and employees have had more autonomy. In the return to the office, these advantages hang in the balance, and may cause a lack of motivation and frustration if they are reversed.

While not all of these issues can be overcome, businesses may want to consider how they can facilitate flexible working and eliminate processes that haven’t been needed during the pandemic. After all, why bring them back if you’ve found a better way to work?

Thirdly, 48% of people believe they have gained weight and thousands have suffered from poor mental health during lockdown. A subsidised gym membership or organised exercise activity might be welcomed. As well as helping to improve mental health, exercise is also vital for optimum productivity. Other easy-to-implement actions, such as regular check-ins and access to mental health support, could also help.’

We must now take a different view of what the office is used for, but also should be excited about what it can be used for. With reduced footfall comes free floor space which could be used to make the office more of a hub where people come to learn new skills and make well-presented video conference calls, leaving the more focused style of work for the home.

Victoria McLean, founder & CEO of City CV, the UK’s leading career consultancy and outplacement services firm

Friends

3 years ago in Health & Beauty by KATHLEEN NORTH

Many people can say they have a large number of friends. However,
the likelihood is that they do not enjoy true, sincere friendships with all those individuals.

True friendships take time and work to create. Building true friendships requires a lot of emotional give and take from both people. When formed, sincere friendships are enduring. A friend will provide unconditional love and support. Confiding in another person without fear of judgment is liberating. It allows us to speak without feeling the need to self-vet everything we say. How often in social situations do we monitor what we say in case we expose too much of ourselves? We live in a society where fragilities and emotional or mental vulnerability can be seen as some kind of weakness. Talking to others can feel like a vocal dance rather than an honest discussion about how we feel.

Friends do not want us to hide what we are experiencing – they positively encourage us to take down barriers and show who we are. How else can you truly get to know someone else if they do not expose all of themselves to you – good and not so good. Everyone’s definition of a friend or friendship is different. Perhaps it is realistic to tweak our expectations depending on the level of friendship we want and the situation where the connection developed.

Some friends become just that in a work environment. Water cooler chats, after work drinks or weekend socialising. All this sounds familiar in the working world. Some people stay in contact once they no longer work together. Others recognise that theirs was pretty much an office friendship for the duration they worked together. This does not make their bond any less important or valid, it’s just an understanding that friendship can take different forms.

Those of us who have developed friendships since we were young will probably have journeyed together through significant moments. A mix of elation and challenging moments will bond two people in a hugely significant way. Equally, it can also put a strain on the strongest friendships. Seeing people at their most fragile is an emotional honour and them sharing your most difficult experiences creates shared moments that are never forgotten.

The pivotal fact is like many, if not all, truly important relationships, friendships can flourish and bend a little because the foundation of it is so strong. We allow ourselves the luxury of being entirely ourselves with all the emotional shades that come with it. Is it possible to love and care for someone if they don’t actually know who you are? Our flaws are as much a part of us as the positive aspects of our personality. If we value a person then we want to witness who they are in good and difficult times, otherwise the bond is one dimensional. If we walk away when a friend needs us – there is no genuine depth of emotion there. Sincere friends will be there for us whilst we navigate all our life experiences – and will absolutely want to be part of joy and perhaps difficult situations.

Michael Padraig Acton is a consultant, psychological therapist (clinical and counselling psychology) systemic life coach and author with over 30 years experience.

Regarding friendship he says ‘As social creatures, we all need friends. Providing the relationship is healthy, we benefit in so many ways.

One of the most important gifts that our dearest friends bring us is their loyalty. We can trust them with our hopes, our fears and our pain. We can tell them what is going on in our lives and know that they will keep it in confidence.

With our friends, we can benefit from a different perspective on our problems. In return, we can experience life in their shoes, helping us to become more empathic.
Our true friendships help us to grow as a person. If they are to last, we have to learn to respect our friends’ opinions and attitudes, when they differ from our own. We are all unique souls and we will all need to accommodate our differences.

Friendships are an antidote to loneliness. As described in my article, Tackling Loneliness, The 21st Century’s Biggest Killer, the cauldron of thoughts and feelings that underlie that simple word, loneliness, is driving people to addiction, depression and even death. It is important that we reach out to others, especially as we emerge from the pandemic.

When we make that step, we turn our thoughts outwards. This helps us to escape our own brooding while giving us the opportunity to give to another human being. Friendships are about both give and take and we need to learn to do both graciously.

Social media encourages us to think about friends as numbers because it is the number of active users that drives investment. If we’re not careful we can fall into the same trap of basing our self-worth on how many friends we have. Quality of friendship is far more important to human souls than quantity. Build up friendships slowly over time because not all will last the distance.

Before you invest in a friendship, make sure it is a healthy friendship and not a toxic relationship that drains you. For more information on toxic relationships and how to escape them, see my book Learning How To Leave.

Apart from that one caveat, try to value your friends equally by not comparing them. Each of your friends plays a different role in your life, bringing out different aspects of your being. Some will pep you up when you’re feeling down. Some will encourage you to take on new challenges, overcoming anxiety and procrastination. Others will be there to listen to you with no expectations. Value all of them equally for who they are and what they bring to your life.’

Michael Padraig Acton’s next book, the first in the Power of You series, is Learning How To Leave: A Practical Guide To Stepping Away From Toxic Narcissistic Relationships (paperback out July 2021).

KATHLEEN NORTH - page 6

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