Rejig your Relationships

in Features

However loving and committed relationships are, there are periods within them when we can feel jaded and disconnected to our loved one. We face challenges that create difficulties in our relationship.

How can we recognise what our relationship challenges are?

Relationship coach Mandy Mee states ‘Relationships aren’t a walk in the park and it takes mindfulness to maintain a healthy relationship. If you’re unaware there’s a problem in your relationship, then the problem can’t be solved. 

The first point of recognising a challenge in your relationship is by identifying how your relationship makes you feel.  

To long for your partner’s company after a long day at work considering that’s where you find peace of mind is a sign of a healthy relationship but if your relationship makes you feel uneasy and uncertain, perhaps mediocre, there’s a problem that needs to be addressed.  

A healthy relationship should make you feel content, happy, loved and excited for the future together. 

When two people find a connection with one another, it’s important to understand their attachment style. This helps you build your relationship mindfully on a conscious level. Instead of “reacting” to your partner’s ways, having knowledge of their attachment style allows you to “respond” in a way you’re heard and not misunderstood. 

Other ways of identifying relationship challenges is through complaints. What do you find yourself disagreeing with on occasion or what do you complain most about that still isn’t resolved? 

Jealousy can also be an identifying factor which can stem from an Anxious or Disorganised Attachment Style. Jealousy is a place of lack and desire. However if you view jealousy from a positive perspective, you’re able to identify issues in your relationship. 

For instance if you’re jealous of the relationship of a friend, here are common signs which can serve as a guide towards identifying your own relationship challenges. 

Commitment

You’re jealous your peers’ relationship has led to a life partnership such as marriage.

Relationship Challenge – Marriage

You haven’t reached that level of commitment yet with your partner. 

Sexual Intimacy

You’re jealous your peers can’t seem to stop talking about how sexually satisfied they are with their partner.

Relationship Challenge – Sexual Dissatisfaction

You lack sexual intimacy in your own relationship. 

No Date Nights

You’re jealous your friends have routined date nights with their partner and they always seem happier as a result. 

Relationship Challenge –  Lack of activities

You can’t remember the last time you did anything fun in your relationship. You feel a void and distant.

Unresolved issues can have a long term effect on your relationship. Instead of repressing these problems, make a list of them and be strategic with how you choose to communicate them to your partner to reach a healthy solution. 

Understandably some couples may avoid addressing certain issues due to a lack of confidence, fear of hurting or losing their partner. If this is the case, familiarise yourself with your communication style and learn how to be assertive. 

Assertive communication allows you to convey your emotions effectively, shows signs you’re able to deal with conflict, resolve relationship issues, boosts your self esteem, self worth and allows you to stand up for yourself, which in turn derives respect from others. 

How can we develop positive strategies to bring the fun, spontaneity and closeness back to the forefront?

Relationships are like flowers you have to water, trim its dead roots and leaves to maintain their bloom.

Life has a way of making you lose track of being present in your relationship. From financial development, to maintaining a household, managing children, mental health, and career goals. 

We’re humans, and if there’s one thing we all are familiar with, is that life itself is one hell of a whirlwind so are relationships. 

It’s a common phenomenon to fall in and out of love with your partner. Attraction may fade with age, routine becomes a norm, boredom becomes rife and your romantic relationship pivots into what feels like a platonic friendship or companionship with no romance. 

Before you find ways to bring the fun, spontaneity and closeness back to a relationship, learn your partner’s needs and how they receive love. 

The way you feel love may be different from how your partner wants to be loved. 

Imagine trying to reignite the spark in your relationship by showering your partner with gifts when all they want is your presence and quality time. Your effort will go to waste considering your partner doesn’t resonate receiving gifts as Love. 

Once you’re aware of your partner’s love language, you’re equipped with some direction on how to get creative with the development of your relationship. 

Mandy outlines tips to reignite the spark in your relationship;

Date as though you just met

Get to know your partner all over again. Find out what makes them happy, understand their perspective on life and relationships. Ask intimate questions that will help you connect with their soul. If you’re unaware of questions to ask, do some research or try Dr Arthur Aron 36 Questions To Fall In Love. 

Play

Relationships are about having fun for life. Embrace the child in you and have some fun. Play a round of crazy golf, dance in the rain, pillow fight at home, sky dive, paddle board, incorporate fun activities that either involve competition or an adrenalin rush.  

Go on a staycation

You don’t have to go abroad to feel like you’re on a vacation. Find local resorts that offer a romantic ambiance such as forest of dean in the UK. 

Or you can plan a number of activities to do around a road trip to the countryside or a city in another town. 

Revisit the past   

Tracing your footsteps back to day 1 can bring back good memories of how you fell in  love. If you have pictures, that can also come into play with your creativity.     

Always show your partner appreciation, either a thank you or shower them with compliments. A show of appreciation makes them feel valued and wanted.’

For more tips, contact Matchmaker & Relationship Coach, Mandy Mee at “The MME Agency”. An exclusive Matchmaking & Coaching Agency for Professionals and Celebrities. 

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