KATHLEEN NORTH - page 9

Reconnecting with people we have had a previous connection with can be complex, fascinating but can ultimately provide clues as to why the friendship or personal relationship did not continue. However, for others, discovering each other again can prove not only a positive experience but a momentous one. 

Two individuals who found each other again and created a life together are Florence and Ashley, both 32 years old. They live in Surrey with their cat Nala. Florence describes here how they reconnected.

“I am a PR & Events Manager at a Charity and my husband is a Primary School teacher in Putney and is the creator of The Shed School. I’ve always been a believer in fate and we actually had a fluke moment where we bumped into each other in Edinburgh. I’d driven to Scotland with a group of friends to watch various shows and see my boyfriend and Ashley had gone to stay with a friend who lived there. I remember walking with my friend into the Pleasance Theatre and seeing Ashley and my stomach somersaulted. It was so bizarre as we’d had various conversations via Snapchat but not really met up or taken it further because I was unavailable. We spent a lot of time together in Edinburgh, which was lovely, but we were both aware I had a boyfriend, which made it tricky. We went our separate ways after that and lost touch for quite a bit of time as Ashley landed the lead role in the Theatre tour version of Cat in the Hat. It wasn’t until a year later we picked back up when he moved to London and I was single. 

We first met at Bath Spa University in 2006, as we were on the same Performing Arts course.  We were always friends and liked one another but grew closer in our third year when we were both in the same show, ‘The Importance of being Earnest’ by Oscar Wilde, which was our final performance. However, we were both in relationships throughout University, so never really had the opportunity to see if there was anything there. We were also very different people back at University and both had different experiences, and part of me feels we wouldn’t have been compatible even if we had given a relationship a go then.

After University we went our separate ways and lost touch over the years. However, we would always reconnect every now and then, whether it was a drink here or a message there. We then weirdly reconnected officially over Snapchat back in 2013. Ashley was touring across the UK and would send me quirky pictures in his costume that would always make me smile. I began sending funny pictures back, which opened up a conversation between the two of us. This went on for about a year, but we never took it anywhere as I was in a relationship and Ashley was still touring. 

After about a year of Snapchatting, we decided to finally meet up. Ashley had moved to London and I was single. The time was finally right for the two us. We had drinks on the Southbank in September 2014 and talked for hours. Ashley always says that when he looks back on our first date that he felt like he was meeting a completely new person, unlike the girl he remembered. I was quite cautious about us at the beginning. I had just come out of a tricky relationship where I had been kept secret for most of it. So suddenly being with someone who wanted me to meet his family and friends and move in with him was overwhelming. However, it did just feel right, so as soon as I let go of the anxieties I had felt in my previous relationship, I was able to commit fully to Ashley. It was this point I think we both knew we were meant to be together. 

Everything moved quite quickly from this point. Both our families thoroughly approved of our relationship choice (finally) and Ashley and I were incredibly happy. We moved in together and Ashley decided to pursue a career in teaching so we could start building a proper life together., Ashley and I had different experiences in Bath. I really enjoyed the course we had chosen and the friendship circle I was in, but Ashley struggled. I was sad when I discovered the negative connotations he had with Bath because that’s the City that brought us together. However, Ashley proved to me that his time in Bath was fully worth it by taking me for a weekend away there and proposing to me in front of the Bath Abbey in February 2018. We bought our first home the following December and married last May in Tetbury. 

We have been together nearly 6 years and just celebrated our first wedding anniversary in lockdown. It’s strange because there is nothing that should have really kept us in each other’s lives, post University. We still swam in different ponds and pursued different careers, we even maintained different friendship groups from the ones we had made back at Bath Spa. So, it was obviously always meant to be for us, we just needed the time to be finally right.

Ashley will be running FREE Maths and English lessons, live from 13th July – 21st August 2020. http://www.theshedschool.co.uk 

A nurse’s describes returning to the NHS frontline to help fight the Covid-19 Pandemic 

The Coronavirus has had a huge impact on all of our lives. Whether you are an individual who has suffered from this disease to those experiencing loss of a loved one – no one has escaped its emotional, physical and psychological impact.

None more so than our frontline health professionals who are providing healthcare and emotional support to all their patients – and to each other – during these exacting, frankly dangerous times. 

For those healthcare professionals returning to the NHS after previously leaving their profession, the desire to help is overwhelming.

Rosy Boulton, 52, lives alone in Suffolk after recently separating. Rosy has three grown up children who all live in various parts of the country and New Zealand. 

“I have a nursing degree RGN BSc and speciality in Critical Care nursing where I worked for 10 years in our local NHS hospital from qualifying as a nurse and rose to being a Sister on the Unit.

I left Critical Care Nursing in 2016 after 10 years’ service. I felt I had achieved all my personal goals working on the Unit and didn’t want to progress any higher which would have meant less patient contact as you climbed the ranks and that just wasn’t for me! You see I was a mature student when I entered this amazing profession after seeing the amazing nursing care my father received when he was dying of cancer. In fact, the nurse who took great care of him and inspired me to become a nurse is now a very good friend of mine and she encouraged me to be the best I could in Critical Care. I have a lot to thank her for. So patient care was always at the heart of nursing for me and management, with all its politics and bureaucracy, just wasn’t for me. 

I then nursed in the Community for two years feeling I wanted to give a different arm of nursing a try and learn new skills. So I cared for a patient in her home who still required 1-1 nursing, hence continuing to put my Critical Care skills to good use. It was such a stark contrast to working in hospital where patients would immediately develop “white coat” syndrome and bow down to Drs and healthcare professionals in charge of their care, to me being extremely respectful of my new patient’s personal wishes on how she wanted to be cared for and her personal space, home and belongings. 

I then stopped practicing nursing in 2018 to concentrate on my new business, running my own private medical skin clinic in Suffolk, Crystal Rose Skin Clinic, but continued to keep my nursing registration valid as this was highly regarded by my clients in the Clinic and also in case I ever needed to go back to nursing.

As soon as the Government informed the whole nation to go into lockdown in March 2020, I had no option but to close my skin Clinic for the foreseeable and hearing the hardship and struggles my old nursing colleagues in Critical Care were having to go through with the rise of COVID-19 patients, I immediately knew I had to go back to help and offer my services. I contacted my old matron on the Unit and registered with the local NHSP Bank service and started working immediately. Unfortunately due to the shortage of experienced staff, there was no going back gently for me after having left 4 years previously, and I had to pray my memory would not let me down. But it gradually all came back to me caring for the very sick on multiple lifesaving machines. My colleagues describe it like “riding a bike” – you never forget. 

It was also great to be part of my old fantastic team of dedicated nurses, doctors and consultants again and I was even asked by a colleague why I’d returned. My response was “once a nurse always a nurse”… it’s in your blood!

My first day back was quite daunting, feeling nervous and wondering if I had made the right decision taking into account my own safety and exposure to the virus. But once I had recognized a few faces on that morning shift, I felt right at home again. Wearing full PPEs which were provided and working with wonderful new healthcare professionals who had been redeployed from other areas of the hospital to help in the critical areas was something I wasn’t used to either. I must say the PPEs are something you could never get used to wearing, feeling claustrophobic, hot, sweaty and barely being able to see through the goggles you had on due to the steam from your eyes, and then facing a Unit bursting at the seams full of COVID-19 patients all on ventilators and life support machines. 

At times, I wondered why I’d volunteered – this was not the nursing I’d signed up to.  This felt akin to a battle zone but instead of weapons as the enemy, it was an invisible deadly disease. On a daily basis I was seeing sad sights of patients struggling with every weakened breath, seeing their hearts take a hit with the impact of the virus taking over their bodies needing strong cardiac drugs and their kidneys packing up requiring dialysis and all the powerful drugs and medication given to keep them alive. Seeing patients at their most vulnerable time of need without family members being present meant that as a nurse you were the only one to hold their hand and be with them to comfort and tenderly care for their needs. 

I was isolating alone but I could see the fear in my colleagues who had family and young children at home isolating with them, because of the fear of going home and spreading the virus. But each day an army of brave nurses and hospital workers would turn up to take on another horrendous day.

I know that this period in my nursing career will never be forgotten or repeated in my generation, going down in history. I feel enormous pride and a sense of being able to do my bit to help along with all the amazing key workers and volunteers across the country, all doing their bit in the nation’s moment of need. I know that we healthcare professionals ARE the frontline in this war and are proud and honoured to serve.

My children are very proud of the fact and not at all surprised that I returned to the NHS to offer my help. They were naturally very worried for my own health and safety but knew that I would never put myself in a compromised situation and make sure full PPEs were provided. They knew that my love for this vocation would make me want to help in whatever way I could. 

I’m so proud of the accomplishments Major Tom Moore has done for the NHS so I am a strong supporter of his.”

www.crystalroseskinclinic.co.uk