KATHLEEN NORTH - page 7

Although creativity is important, it does not come naturally to everyone. If you are not an artist, musician or an individual who is involved in the creative world, you might wonder why being creative is a vital element in our lives – here are some reasons why:

Being creative can expand our world. So much of our personal and work life is dominated by details. Allowing our thoughts to roam free prevents us from tying ourselves in practical and emotional knots. 

Creativity can motivate us.  When we are feeling dispirited and low, involving ourselves in a creative activity can lift our spirits and give us a positive nudge in a different direction.

Problem solving abilities can be enhanced. When confronted by problems, it allows us to view the issue from different perspectives. We can problem solve using a tried and tested method. This may do the job but there are possibly more effective solutions that we have not opened our minds to.

Productivity can be increased. A mind that is full of ideas, new ways of thinking and alternative approaches brings a fresh energy to a situation. It not only impacts on yourself but those around you. Innovation and efficiency are positive pluses that productivity brings.

Creativity boosts confidence. There is little doubt that increased powers of productivity, problem solving and addressing challenging tasks will increase anyones confidence. The more we look at ourselves as a capable individual, the more empowered we feel.

Creativity helps clarify our feelings. Our minds can be chaotic with a constant churning of ideas and thoughts. Channelling this world window emotion can be cathartic, be it writing, painting or perhaps knitting. Whilst being creative we tend to be less judgemental about ourselves which in turn creates a more measured view of ourselves and the world.

Expressing ourselves through creativity. As a human right, freedom of expression is hugely important. There are so many avenues to choose from in which to express our emotions and all of them are as significant and impactful as each other.

Being creative can be a personal, group or community based activity. All will contribute to freeing our minds and art clubs can create connections that are valuable and life enhancing.

Creativity can be a huge stress reliever. This is significant because stress can be the cause of a number of physical and mental problems. Such issues can greatly impact our happiness and wellbeing. Bring creative can soothe our souls and promote a feeling of peace.

Creativity can help you live longer. By keeping your mind active you are essentially working out the brain muscle. As with all forms of exercise, this keeps you healthier. The fact that tapping into our creativity relieves stress also helps to extend our life.

Dr Emer MacSweeney, Consultant Neuroradiogist and Medical Director believes ‘Creative activities are a hugely beneficial exercise for our brains and minds, assisting our mental wellbeing and health. Interestingly, different parts of our brain and multiple cognitive processes, both conscious and unconscious, are activated according to the type of creative endeavour undertaken. Cooking, socialising, performing, learning a new language, playing a musical instrument, dancing, singing, writing short stories, visiting a museum and participating in group activities are all creative pursuits which are very important for maintaining a healthy brain and mind. 

We need to be taken out of our comfort zone and away from regular patterns of behaviour in order to have the opportunity to learn new skills and experience a sense of accomplishment and mastery. 

When we are creative, we are forced to unwind, relax and express ourselves in different ways which can bring joy, satisfaction and huge accomplishment. It also provides the opportunity for the “a-ha” moments to happen, when problems can be solved and decisions made through clarity of thought.

Creativity can also be a great coping mechanism when dealing with stress, anxiety, grief and mental health conditions, diverting attention and helping to calm the nervous system.

This too can have lasting benefits to our health. 

Music has been shown to be particularly powerful in helping to improve cognitive function and  improves  the connectivity between the left and right sides of the brain. Playing a musical instrument builds confidence, relieves stress, fosters creativity and gives a sense of achievement and satisfaction – all of which,  in turn,  help keep the brain young and active, helping to reduce the risk of dementia.

Studies have shown that the risk of Alzheimer’s disease can be reduced by exercises such as  dancing. Not only is it fun, social and engaging but it’s a great way of incorporating exercise into the weekly routine. Learning and remembering new steps activates many neural pathways in the brain, keeping it strong, active and healthy. It provides good blood flow to the brain and is also thought to encourage brain cell growth and survival, so essential in helping protect against developing dementia.

Whether learning to tango or mastering the mandolin, there are countless creative pursuits that provide many powerful benefits to brain health. 

Grace Holliday is the Artist in Residence at Loveday & Co

Grace states ‘Across all projects that I design and deliver, I use creativity as a type of invitation tailored to the individual. Not limited to the visual arts alone, the creativity running through each project opens up a series of sensory experiences that operate on different levels of perception and interpretation. 

Across a period of time the power creativity holds has manifested in the individual personalities of the people I work with on a weekly basis. This has grown and moulded creative power into something meaningful and totally unique, and has really started to form a sense of artistic identity. A gradual process that has seen participants of my workshops emerge as something anew – now confident makers, curators, colour coordinators or artistic narrators for example. It is not one size fits all. The power of creativity has to involve choice and allow for a feeling of ownership and insight, especially when this can feel like it is being taken away in other areas of life. How this is expressed can be limitless and completely freeing in that moment.’

Dr Emer MacSweeney, Consultant Neuroradiologist and Medical
Director at Re:Cognition Health www.recognitionhealth.com

Grace Holliday, Artist in Residence at Loveday www.lovedayandco.com 

Being a mother comes in all shades, many dimensions and with varying expectations.  From the moment we know we are expecting, we experience a complex array of emotions. In many ways we are not only carrying our own wants and hopes but the generations of mothers who came before us.

One aspect of those expectations is how others view us as a mum and does how many children we have play a part in how they feel?  I have heard a mother of three casually pass a comment to a mother of one that ‘it’s ok for you – you only have one child to deal with’. This throwaway remark is rather patronising and worse still, belittles the other mums role as a mother.

With women taking a measured look at all aspects of their lives, some make the decision that they want one child. There is no other agenda to this choice, they simply want one child and feel this decision is the right one for them and their partner.

Motherhood is a joy and privilege – as well as jolly hard work.  However, being a mum is about parenting, not the number of children you have. All the love, caring and devotion you pour into your child are not ‘diluted’ because the recipient is one child. 

The reasons why individuals actively choose to have one child can be simple or emotionally complex but they are deeply personal and come from a place of understanding ourselves and our hopes for the future.

Natalie Browne, 32. Natalie lives in Hertfordshire and works in a school as a secondary school teacher. Natalie is currently working 4 days a week but will increase to full time from September. 

Natalie shares her story, ‘I met my husband online about 11 years ago. We chatted for a while but then didn’t talk to each other for a while. Then one night I went out and got “slightly” (read, very) drunk and managed to break my nose on a traffic light pole. Being drunk I found the whole trip to A&E hilarious and posted photos of myself covered in blood in hospital. The following day I got a text on my new phone asking how the nose was. Didn’t know who it was, we chatted and eventually I realised who it was! We met up a month or so later and the rest is history! We moved in together 6 months later, got engaged a year after that and married in July 2016.  

 I have always wanted children but have never been massively broody and not the sort of person to want to hold the new baby. We always discussed having a son and how we would name him Arthur and have his middle names after our fathers (who have both passed away). After a performance (I sing and play piano) I didn’t want a glass of red wine (which is a MASSIVE for me) and my mum joked that I could be pregnant. The following day I took a test, but no longer had the box. Husband got the test as I was Googling what to see if you are/aren’t pregnant and he said “What does it mean if it says Pregnant 3-5 weeks?”. We weren’t trying and had got pregnant after a night which included plenty of alcohol. We had discussed getting pregnant and were going to start trying that Christmas (it was then April). I’m glad it happened like that though as looking back I think we were rather naive thinking we could easily get pregnant when we wanted to.  

When I found out I was pregnant I was upset – mainly due to all the plans we had for the summer and that I wouldn’t be able to do them, or enjoy them as much as I would have liked (ie. 3 weddings when I had to be the designated driver and a festival with no booze). A few days of knowing and I ended up being happy! 

We had always discussed having a boy to pass on my husbands name etc. But we found out we were having a little girl. I didn’t know how to feel about it and it didn’t really hit me until after she was born. Now, I don’t think the bond I share with my toddler would be as strong as it would be if she had been a boy! 

My birth story isn’t pleasant – after being 11 days late and having to have an emergency C section our little one was in NICU for 3 days on a brain wave scanner and we weren’t able to hold her until she was 3 days old. I suffered mentally from the birth. I hated being pregnant. When my little one turned 1 I looked at photographs and decided I didn’t want to be the fat mum and lost 3 stone. (Ok, it was a lot harder than that and took over a year but I did it).  

I am now in a fantastic place mentally and physically. I love my daughter with all my heart.   

We have discussed the idea of having another baby. I don’t want to. My husband is happy with our daughter and doesn’t want to have another baby unless I changed my mind. We are now financially stable and that will only get better. We will be able to offer our little girl opportunities that we wouldn’t be able to if we had another child.  

Despite being in my early 30s I am the only one in my female friendship group with a child. I believe that women are starting to put themselves first before settling down to have a family. I know that me and my friends are fantastic role models for my daughter and I hope that society sees women as more than just child bearers.  

It doesn’t matter what I say, I will still get people asking “when’s the next one” and when I say I don’t want another child “Oh, you’ll change your mind”. – No I won’t.  I love my daughter. We got it perfect on the first go. If you won the lottery, would you carry on playing?’

The joy of expecting a child cannot be underestimated. Of course, there is a whole cocktail of emotions:  elation, apprehension, curiosity of how our bodies are changing and the longing to meet our child.

Imagine then, the extra layer of uncertainty felt by mums to be during the pandemic. These mums faced the challenges everyone experienced during this difficult time as well as preparing herself to journey through these nine precious months, often without her usual support system. During pregnancy, the close contact, friendship and guidance of loved ones is an extremely important part of the process.  During the pandemic, not being able to hug, meet and personally confide our concerns and uncertainties have brought a particular fragility to this most emotional time of our lives.

Samantha Lubanzu, 37 lives in South Manchester her husband Luis, 39 and their children Eliyanah, 5, Luis, 3 and twins Amelia and Levi.

Samantha is a HR Busines partner recently taken voluntary redundancy from a global Bank and Luis is a registered Mental Health Nurse working for a private hospital 

They met when Samantha was 19 and Luis was 21 through friends. They dated for 5 years before getting married. The couple were married on 14th June 2008.  Their daughter Eliyanah was conceived via IVF after almost a decade of infertility, their second child came naturally.

Samantha and Luis’s first child Eliyanah who was 3 during Samantha’s last pregnancy excitedly told mummy that she was going to have a boy and a girl – God had told her! This was all before her mum even knew she was pregnant herself. Eliyanah would mention it everyday for several weeks, including to her childminder until a pregnany test confirmed it. 

Samantha had experienced some symptoms which she had thought was due to a bug or something else but not another pregnancy. She went to the doctors who ordered a blood test to be carried out. It was weeks before they came back but during this time, Samantha took a pregnancy test and sure enough she was expecting.

As Samantha was also experiencing some tummy pain she went to the hospital who immediately scanned her.  They discovered two sacs; one with a heart beat and one without one. 

Samantha describes what happened next:  ‘I was told that I had potentially miscarried the second twin and would need to be rescanned in a forthnight but I held on to my daughters prophecy and my faith in God. When I went back I was convinced there would be both heart beats and thankfully, both were visible.

At 16 weeks I went for a private scan to discover I was indeed having a boy and a girl. It was a difficult pregnancy as morning sickness was intense and then lockdown came. I had to look after two toddlers whilst being unwell. I was told to have plenty of bed rest which was impossible. Then, at 27 weeks and 6 days I woke up and felt very unwell. When I finally dragged myself out of bed I was sick and felt very unusual. 

This prompted me to call the maternity  emergency department. They told me to stay home and  due to covid they were being extra cautious. A few hours later I felt the urge to push and went to the bathroom. From what I experienced, I knew I had to call the ED again – they told me to come in immediately. 

At this point I had been shielding at home and although I had watched the news I was yet to experience exactly what the outside world looked like. Driving along empty roads and arriving at an empty hospital felt like the zombie apocalypse.

When I was examined I was told I was already 3 inches dilated. I was rushed to delivery room. It becames a fanfare of doctors, nurses and the NICU team. They made every effort to stop or at least slow down the delivery of the twins as they were aware they had to support the babies lungs and Development.  After just over 24 hours Amliah arrived first and then as Levi. He had his hand in the birth canal like superman. They advised me I needed a C section as the rest of his body was still in my womb and there was a risk I would hemorrhage. 

I prayed that this would not be the case and told them I really wanted to push. By this time they had already prepped me for theatre. I was in the theatre room with doctors ready to cut me open. I pleded once again to let me try to push. I was given a 3 minute deadline to do so or they would have no choice.

The medical team gave me drugs and I was able to push Levi out safely within twenty minutes. It was just over an hour since the bith of his twin Ameliah.

They were both rushed to NICU and I was only given a glance at each before they were whisked away. The good news is they were breathing on their own.

Because of the pandemic, my entire pregnancy felt very strange. I experienced a lot of it indoors. At the beginning due to morning sickness and fatigue, then at the end due to covid 19. I felt very isolated and out of touch with what was really going on except for the news and what friends and family told me over the phone.

Only one person was allowed at the hospital so Luis was there for the most part. I did deliver Ameliah on my own. They told him he could not be in the c section theatre but then they let him in when they agreed I could push. 

When I got home the twins trust helped me by having free access to a Narlord nanny called Patsi via phone. She really helped get the babies into a rountine and they thankfully starting sleeping through the night at 12 weeks old!’

You can follow Samantha and the twins journey on her Instagram account: @lubanzutwins

The Pandemic has shone a light on many things.  One of them is the importance of community in our lives and just how our sense of connection can have an impact on our physical and emotional wellbeing.

Making a connection with your local community and feeling a sense of belonging can change your perspective in significant ways. Throughout the pandemic a significant number of people have volunteered or set up community groups or projects. There is little doubt that those involved in these activities receive so much back themselves – improved emotional wellbeing and a sense of purpose.  They realise that they can affect positive change in other people’s lives.

Community gives us a sense of being cared for and valued which is incredibly important to how we view ourselves. Kindness to others benefits us as we feel less lonely and our voice can be heard and acknowledged on a local level.

Another major positive from the pandemic is re-establishing relationships. Maintaining and nurturing emotional connections were challenging pre-pandemic – work, family commitments, friendships can all take up a large amount of our time and energy but during the pandemic, we had the opportunity to reflect on our emotional lives. Whether the relationships you are re-evaluating are family, work or perhaps neighbours, it can be extremely empowering to make a positive decision to reconnect to those close to us, to spend time appreciating the worth of your connection.

Like most valuable areas of our lives, we need to invest time and energy to nurture it. Our relationships are exactly the same – neglect them and they diminish, possibly to a point where it is difficult to pull them back from an emotional abyss. The pandemic has challenged us in a variety of ways but the one constant that has been a continuous thread is how we have supported each other, how we have looked to each other for strength and understanding. We have experienced huge sadness and anxiety but there have been a raft of groups and organisations who have actively reached out to all parts of society, from those isolating to those who have found the whole experience emotionally and mentally overwhelming. During these stressful times, many of us have remembered those who mean – or have meant – a great deal to us. For some, contacting those in our lives has been a natural path in this uneasy time. Whereas we often promise ourselves to call or contact someone who is on our minds, the pandemic has put our connections into sharp focus. It has placed our priorities centre stage, Human connections are what guides us through when the present and future seem so uncertain. The world around us has been a fearful place and the desire for reassurance has been absolutely key in finding our way through. Reconnecting with individuals has been essential 

Dr Deborah Lee believes there have been a number of silver linings from the pandemic.  Dr Lee highlights the areas of our lives we can appreciate even more:

Less traffic, less air pollution, and fewer car accidents.

Road traffic was reduced by 73% – levels not seen since 1955. In London and other big cities, air pollution fell by 30-50%. Road traffic accidents fell by 11%.

Many people have developed new hobbies, and interests

In one UK survey (by Serenata Flowers),  50% of women were found to have taken up a new hobby since the start of the pandemic and 67% were doing this at least once a week. Gardening, cooking, baking, were the most popular. 15% of women had learnt  to crochet, knit, or do embroidery.

We saw an outpouring of generosity and kindness

There are numerous examples. Volunteers came forward to shop and deliver food to the elderly and those who were shielding. Others donated time driving, doing odd  jobs, walking dogs, and helping people get their medication. Many got to know their  neighbours for the first time. There was a big surge in community spirit.

A massive increase in people undertaking online learning

Online learning became the norm through necessity – whether this was through   schools, colleges, universities, or businesses. Many children were given a laptop from charitable donations they would otherwise not have had.

Staying at home meant saving money.

People spent less and were able to save more. Consumer spending decreased by 7.1%. Two-thirds of UK residents are estimated to have saved around £7,032 over  the course of the year. Moreover,  these saving habits, such as not going out for takeaway coffees and watching movies at home, have taught people how to save  and may continue long into the future.

People began to realise the importance of green spaces. 

Having been cooped up at home, we all now appreciate green spaces. This led to an increase in interest in outdoor hobbies such as gardening, which has been shown to be good for health. Others decided to relocate – leaving big cities to live in  the country or by the sea.

A huge increase in telemedicine

The positives Dr Lee mentions are all incredibly important in different ways. It can be easy to feel that such a stressful and uncertain time as the pandemic cannot any positive moments.  However, many of us have experienced life affirming situations since the first lockdown. Human connections have never been so integral to our wellbeing. Living through the pandemic is one challenge but trying to look to the future and beyond our present struggles is particularly tough. It is only through recognising the uplifting moments during our darker times that enables us to not only pull through but to understand exactly what is important in our lives. Finding positives from such a distressing time can feel odd, possibly wrong for some individuals but our emotions are complex and we need to believe heart warming experiences can be achieved, even during our darkest moments.

Dr Deborah Lee can be found at Dr Fox Online Pharmacy – https://www.doctorfox.co.uk/

Even without the pandemic creating challenging stress levels, as caring individuals, we often want to empathise and support those who are stressed. However, the back story is that we end up absorbing their anxieties.

When listening, empathising and supporting others we do this for the very best of intentions. We all need a support system and acts of kindness when we feel emotionally fragile or particularly vulnerable. What also happens is we take on the worries and concerns of others – a kind of emotional osmosis.  Often we have no idea this is the psychological impact it is having on us as we are naturally more focused on helping the person who is sharing their troubles.

Is there a way to balance the support we want to share with the recognition of how it is impacting our own mental health? We all find caring for others hugely rewarding and clearly we want to continue supporting each other. We also need to understand how our own health is affected by absorbing others distress.

Dr Alka Patel is a lifestyle medical physician, GP, Coach, Speaker and Podcaster. Dr Patel explains what second hand stress is, how to recognise it and tips on the best ways to deal with it:

What exactly is second-hand stress?

Second-hand stress is a neurological phenomenon observed as the spread of emotions. Stress is contagious and can be caught. We communicate our emotions through our body in our facial expressions, movements, posture, energies and even our smell. We interact with each other through our mirror neurones and mimic the expressions of others This mimicry is an important way for us to build our emotional intelligence and emotional empathy and helps us engage with each other better emotionally. Our expressions and movements in turn tell our brain how we are feeling. If the corners of your mouth lift into a smile, your brain interprets this as happiness. If your brow muscles deepen into a frown, your brain interprets this as stress. This is how we absorb the emotions of others as our own and why we feel stressed in the company of others who are stressed, feel tired if others are tired yawn, when someone else yawns – it’s mirror neurones at work. We’re hard wired to respond to threats as part of our survival mechanism through our sympathetic nervous system– remember S for sympathetic, S for survival, S for stress. Which is why it’s easier to absorb negative emotions from others more easily than positive emotions. If others are stressed, we perceive a signal that we should be stressed too.

Typical scenarios of when a person might experience it-  examples of situations?

My daughter’s currently going through GCSE’s and the stress levels in the classroom are at an all time high. She’s generally a very calm person but has noticed her own stress levels rising when others are talking about how worried they are. Second-hand stress is common in exam situations.

It’s also very noticeable in working environments – a stressed boss, colleagues on edge with the pressure of deadlines – this is transmissible and creates a stressed working culture

In my lifestyle medicine practice I see second-hand stress spread through families – depressed, tired mums present with children who also display low mood and fatigue. Most worrying, an 8 year old little boy who said he was stressed. If children as young as 8 are using the word stressed, something in that child’s environment needs to change.

It’s also interesting to note that second-hand stress can also be transmitted through screens. My husband has recently been enjoying watching the seat-gripping Line of Duty before going to bed….followed by  extremely restless nights. We can catch stress even through screens This was shown in a study in which a group participants took a stress test involving mathematics and interviews. 95% showed an increase in cortisol levels – our primary stress hormones. A group of observers watched the participants take the stress tests.26% of the observing group also showed an increase in cortisol levels A group was also asked to watch videos of participants completing the  stress test, 24% showed an increase ins tress levels – witnessing anyone experiencing stress in person or through a screen causes a response, Stress presents an evolutionary advantage to survival and response to dancer, but continued, chronic stress can affect long term health and risks of high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes. 

Tell tale signs – what to recognise 

If you’re feeling stressed but can’t put your finger on why, the source of stress could be someone else. Secondary stress can feel exhausting, so look out for feeling more tired than normal, feeling forgetful or unable to concentrate.

Second hand stress busting strategies – helpful tips

In the face of second-hand stress, focusing on your positive attributes can help.

P 
PAUSE and don’t ignore those feelings and signs of stress – feeling on edge, sweaty palms, racing  mind

O 
OVERCOME stress through mindfulness and attention training – shift your attention to the present moment, using your 5 senses to fully experience the moment that is now; notice 5 things you see, 4 things you touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you taste; practice this through the day just for a few minutes

S 
SPREAD positive emotions instead of stress – smiling, laughter, kindness, patience, compassion- be a positive influence on others instead of letting their negativity affect you

I 
INFORM the primary source of stress of the impact they are having on you and offer a listening ear

T 
TAKE a breath – the power of breathwork is incredible; reducing your breath rate down to 6 or less breaths a minute switches off your stress response and switches on your relaxation response – gives you calm in the moment and long term protection from the health effects of chronic second-hand stress

I 
INTERACT with inspiring people regularly – maintain social connection with people who provide uplift

V 
VISUALISE positive, images, thoughts and situations – make this a daily habit.

E 
EXPRESS gratitude daily – write a journal every evening with 5 things you are thankful for.

Movement, exercise or keeping fit is intrinsically linked to our physical, psychological and mental health wellbeing. Whether it is yoga, running or visiting the gym, the importance of finding our own preferred activity cannot be underestimated.

For an increasing number of women, the ballet classes aimed at females aged in their 50’s plus, called Silver Swans is a popular choice. 

The Duchess of Cornwall, Camilla Parker Bowles is a fan of these dance classes. She has discussed attending the classes with friends and how much she enjoys them.

Barbara McDermott and Alison Garstin from Belfast both attend Silver Swans classes.

‘It was purely through serendipity that I came to ballet’ explains Barbara. ‘After retiring from a demanding job, I took up a ‘Wellness’ class, having been told it was based on contemporary dance. Initially surprised to hear strains of a Tchaikovsky piece and then being asked to take a place at the barre, it was soon apparent that I had joined a ballet class! A few months later I enrolled in the Clare Novaes Ballet School in Moira, taking the Royal Academy of Dance syllabus.

That was five years ago and I quickly became enthralled with the discipline of the movements, delightful music and the magic of expressing myself in this way.  I find huge benefits of ballet training in promoting increased physical energy, strength and endurance. 

Now at the age of 72, I am as busy as ever and enjoying the camaraderie of new ballet friends. It was purely through chance that I came to Ballet. After retiring from a demanding job, I took up a ‘Wellness ‘class  having been told it was based on Contemporary dance. Initially surprised to hear strains of a Tchaikovsky piece of music and then being asked to take a place at the barre, it was soon apparent that I had joined a ballet class! 

That was four years ago and I quickly became enthralled with the discipline of the movements, delightful music and the magic of expressing myself in this way. I am as busy as ever and enjoying the camaraderie with new ballet friends’.

For Alison Garstin, her main motivation was to find a pleasurable way of exercising which she would be familiar whilst incorporating her life-long love for ballet. ‘By chance I met one of  my old friends from ballet school days’, says Alison. ‘She encouraged me to join my teacher’s Laura’s Silver Swans which at first filled me with intrepidation. However, I need not have worried as Laura has perfectly pitched our weekly classes, now on zoom, to our abilities. 

I look forward to class and seeing old friends [we chat after class too].There is no doubt that my sense of balance and coordination have improved and as a result my confidence. I feel more mentally challenged by ballet compared to other forms of exercise which I have tried in the past and just love exercise to music. As for emotional benefits – well all I can say is that even though we take our classes fairly seriously, we have a lot of fun.

Now I am returning as a ‘Silver Swan’ at the age of 62! I certainly don’t look like one, but have renewed old friendships and rekindled my love for ballet. It seems like it is never too late!’

Jessica Angel, is an international artist working with photography, dance and moving image. Jessica thinks ‘Dance works at so many levels.  There is a myth in Europe, that if you didn’t start ballet at 4, and finish your training by 18 – then it’s not possible.  Apart from the sheer pleasure and joy that dance gives, ballet also taps into the neuro-plasticity of the mind and body. Ballet is a very specific discipline, and the exercises are really designed to build up strength and flexibility  in muscles that we are not accustomed to using in our day to day life – and  the sequencing of exercises build up co-ordination.   Combine the strength, flexibility and co-ordination and they allow us to create much better alignment that can really impact our posture and balance as we mature.  Add to this the fact that learning a new skill creates new neural pathways in the brain, in this case really connecting the brain with the physical body – allowing us to expand our cognitive capacity.  So ballet is a dance form that can really support us as we mature, and a dance form that we can master to our own level – building confidence and presence’.

RAD President Dame Darcey Bussell DBE says They Royal Academy of Dance is committed to promoting a love of dance in everyone, of any any age and of any ability, wherever you are across the globe. As the world-renowned home for dance, what a perfect way at this time to bring our expertise and passion to you wherever you are. Dance is such a creative, artistic activity that helps us all express our emotions while boosting positivity, wellbeing and keeping us fit’.

Rhea Sheedy, ballet dancer and Ballet Fusion founder, believes ‘Any type of physical movement is vital for women as we age but ballet can be particularly beneficial. With movements that focus on strengthening and building the muscles (and muscles many other exercises can’t target!), stretching and elongating muscles, as well as rapidly improving posture – adult ballet targets areas of the body that can weaken as we age. 

The great thing about adult ballet is the exercises aren’t strenuous meaning they’re low-impact and can be done by almost anyone – even those who are wheelchair-bound. It’s widely accepted that ballet participation can contribute to positive outcomes across various health and wellbeing areas and has been known to be especially effective for those with Parkinson’s disease.

If you are a newcomer, it is important to get started under the guidance of a professional to prevent injury. If ballet, perhaps, isn’t your thing, don’t worry because even getting up and having a dance can help release tension in the body and boost those ‘happy’ endorphins we all love.’

Royal Academy of Dance website:  

www.royalacademyofdance.org/silverswans

Rhea Sheedy website: 

www.balletfusion.co.uk

Jessica Angel website:  

www.jessicaangel.com

The role of being a step mother is sometimes associated with the sensitivities of developing a loving and supportive relationship with your partners children. These relationships can present challenges but equally can  provide a wonderful, nurturing connection.

One such step mum is Katrina Parsons, 31, who lives with her husband Glynne, 48, in London with Katrina’s stepsons who are 16 and 19 and their daughter Maeve, 3.

‘My step sons were 8 and 11 when I met my husband. I met Glynne at work in a London casino. I ran the events and he was the General Manager. I was 22 and he was 39, Because of the age difference, neither of us thought it was forever so it didn’t bother us at all. After a year being together, I broke things up and moved back to Australia as I felt too far away from my friends and family. I was in Australia for a year before I realised that I actually really loved him. I was ready to accept the age difference as well as the fact he was divorced with 2 sons.

It was was 2 years in total from when we met to when I made the move back to London. Since we married, we have had a beautiful baby girl. I am currently expecting our second child together in June this year. 

My step sons and I have always got on really well. I met them when they were older so I never had to fill the conventional role of mother. We have more of a friendship based relationship than a maternal one. I think the fact I am a bit younger as well helps and I am very easy going.

Glynne and I would take the boys to theme parks, exciting restaurants in London and for holidays where we would hire boats and jet skis. Rather than having a relationship where I take them to school and tell them off for not tidying their rooms – we have fun! I really try to show them things through my eyes and experience of the world.

At first they didn’t really know what to do with Maeve when she was born. They are young boys so they really dote over her. When she turned one, their relationship started blossoming and all 3 are really close now. They visit once a week and really are interested in spending time with her. I don’t think of myself as a step mum as have their biological mother who they live with. I support them wherever I can. I don’t do a lot of the jobs a normal step mum would do as they don’t live with me full time, but I have my strengths and they know they can rely on me when they need to.

During summer last year I booked Sushi Samba for one of the boys’ birthday. They are getting to the age that they are starting to take interest in places and experiences. Maeve is of the age she can eat at the table with everyone. It was so nice to see all 3 of them out together and how they instinctively are protective of her and also have fun with her. Even when we walked in to the restaurant they were walking hand in hand while my husband and I took a step back and watched their relationship from afar. If she was getting bored at the table they would take her for a walk around or read her books. Because of lockdown we hadn’t really done much out of the house, but it was just such a lovely day as a family – one we will always remember.   

I started my business, Me & Maeve Grace, after I found a gap in the market for stylish matching clothes for mums and daughters. I found there wasn’t anyone in the UK that was really designing for new mums – whether it be breastfeeding or bump friendly features or just a flattering fit that was conscious of them having a new baby. I really felt I could create something that would look and feel great, as well as having an ethical & sustainable supply chain.

Maeve does all the fittings for the girls size and models for the shoots as well as social media for the content around parenthood we produce.

I hope that one day the company will have grown to be successful and she would take an interest in it and one day take over’. 

Louisa Whitney is an Accredited Family Mediator.  She states that ‘when a couple have separated the relationship between them can be difficult and this can hamper the relationship between a child and one of their parents.  Dad having a new partner can be a help in this regard and especially so where the commitment makes that partner a step mum.  A good relationship (or even a civil, polite and respectful one) between a mum and a step mum can reassure mum that children will be safe and happy when visiting dad in a way she may not have previously been reassured.  This in turn can help children to feel safer and less worried when seeing dad. A step mum can be a treasured and safe person to talk to who is not their biological parent.  Age appropriate honest and open conversations with children can be helpful for a step mum provided she doesn’t stray from what biological parents are comfortable with.  Children respond to openness and authenticity in adults around them and so it’s important to approach it from this standpoint.

Fun can also be significant in any relationship and having a step mum with whom children can do fun things that they enjoy doing, can help to cement that relationship.  A step mum isn’t there to replace mum, or as a substitute for dad, but a supportive step mum with a listening ear can provide an important stability for children of separated parents’.

Website: www.meandmaevegrace.com

Instagram: @me.and.maevegrace.com

Email: hello@meandmaevegrace.com

Louisa Whitney website;

www.lkwfamilymediation.co.uk

Our working lives are hugely important to us. We spend a significant amount of time working, so what career path we follow is pivotal to our emotional and mental wellbeing. Therefore, deciding to change our working life requires careful and measured consideration. During a pandemic, the reasons and motivation behind the change are put into even more of a sharp focus.

The desire to find another position or possibly work for yourself is a positive step but in these uncertain times, both financially and health wise, why do some people have the committed belief that this really is the right time and opportunity for them to create a new working phase in their life.

Two such people are Jessica Alderson, 30, and her sister Louella, 27. They both live in London. 

Jessica worked in investment banking at Morgan Stanley for five years and then at a startup. Louella worked in real estate. The sisters decided to create a dating app during a time when social interaction is extremely difficult yet conversely, we have never needed human connection as much. Jessica states ‘We created So Syncd because we wanted to make dating more fun, meaningful and successful. It just didn’t make sense to us that most dating apps were still based solely on looks when personality is so important for long-term compatibility’.

The idea for So Syncd was born when Jessica broke up with a long-term partner and wanted to understand what went wrong. After working at Morgan Stanley for five years, she decided to take a year out to travel and learn about personality type compatibility. 

As Jessica explains, ‘After I returned from my trip, I was explaining the idea of finding love through personality matching over a few drinks in a London bar with my sister. We realized that there was undoubtedly a better way to find love online’.

Jessica’s sister Lou was sceptical at first, but she became convinced of how accurate and successful the personality-matching concept was when they applied the unique algorithm to their friends and Lou’s own successful relationship. ‘She had been in a long-term relationship with her perfect So Syncd personality match without realising’, says Jessica.

During Jessica’s time in banking, she spent a lot of time analyzing companies in great detail. This would include meeting with senior management teams to discuss their long-term strategy. Understanding why they made certain decisions has definitely been beneficial for running So Syncd. Jessica used to forecast companies’ earnings, as well as work out how much they were worth and she has been able to apply these skills to their company.

Lou has amazing experience at scaling a company. She joined a startup as an early employee and worked directly with the CEO to scale the company from a valuation of £80m to over £1bn. There are few companies that have grown at that rate and it was a unique experience to be part of that. Lou has taken these learnings and applied them to the growth strategy at So Syncd.

The app works by asking you to take a five-minute online test to work out your personality type. Then the algorithm will match compatible partners based on many different elements and gives a percentage chance of a great connection. 

‘We match people who have just the right amount of similarities to form a strong connection’, explains Jessica ‘and just the right amount of differences to create that spark. We’ve been studying personality type compatibility for three years now and that’s what we’ve found works best’.

The sisters believe that dating apps are more important now than ever before. They have helped people connect with others during lockdown when people have been feeling lonely and in need of support. There is nothing they love more than talking to the couples they meet on their app and sharing their joy, especially during this challenging time. 

Dating during the pandemic has its challenges but there are clear benefits too. Covid-19 has encouraged slower dating. People are taking the time to get to know each other on a deeper level. There is more of a focus on long-term compatibility rather than physical attraction. 

For Jessica and Lou, launching So Syncd during a global pandemic was a bit of a shock. ‘We were initially apprehensive but it has been an amazing experience to help people connect during this challenging time’, states Jessica ‘We’ve had hundreds of couples find love through our app. The desire for connection is a core human need and the pandemic hasn’t changed that. It has been quite emotional for us – we talk to people who use our app every day and it has been incredible to share their happiness. We had a couple who met on So Syncd get married just before Christmas and we’ve had many people move countries to be together. We have loved working together as sisters – we laugh a lot! We spent the first UK lockdown living together which was helpful in terms of work’. 

They both loved their previous jobs and had amazing bosses but it was clear that for Jessica and Lou, it was the right moment to focus on So Syncd full-time. The business was really taking off and they felt it just wasn’t sustainable doing both anymore. Their bosses were extremely understanding and supportive, which made a huge difference to them.

The sisters are delighted that the business is progressing ‘better than we could have ever imagined, particularly given the pandemic. Working for ourselves has definitely been different to working for someone else but we’re both enjoying it’.

There has been such strong demand for their app during lockdown, it has meant Jessica and Lou have been even more focussed on improving their product and making it an even better experience for their members. ‘We have spent the past few months building a new version from scratch’, confirms Jessica ‘and it was released on 6th February (2021) which we are all very excited about’. 

Find out more:  www.sosyncd.com