What point, what purpose would there be in navigating our way through this life if not for a greater good, whatever that may be?
I have been asking myself this question of late and the answer that speaks most powerfully to me comes from Michael Mirdad and A Course In Miracles. He explains that we are all here due to original separation (also known as original sin) and our purpose is to heal and return to Paradise from whence we came. Our egos got too big for Paradise and decided that we could go it alone, that we no longer needed God or love and created the separation. It is the soul’s journey to heal the damage we have inflicted upon ourselves since then and evolve our way back home.
The only way we can make our way back home is by healing and as we are all one, it is essential that we share our learnings and our healing with others in order that we all eventually, sooner or later, make the journey safely back home.
We are spiritual beings having a physical experience in a human body. Our souls have much healing to do and, it is believed, that we choose different bodies and different lessons throughout successive lifetimes as we move through the journey. Therefore, there will be messengers, teachers and students who we join with for periods of time for the purposes of healing and evolving. (And for fun too!) Sometimes, we learn our lessons quickly, other times they need to be repeated again and again until the light gets through and we swiftly move onto the next one.
It is all about Love. Unconditional, non-judgemental love, which, as humans, we constantly confuse with romantic love. and we love to think about soul mates. or twin flames. These are often wonderful and delicious experiences but usually end in pain. Why? Because we are looking to others to fix us. Society is relentless in teaching us that there is someone out there specially for us. That you have this magical ‘other’ who will complete you and you’ll live happily ever after. It may happen occasionally, but the reality is that significant others are usually of the soul mate variety who come to do some healing with us and that isn’t always pretty!
After the initial ‘falling in love’ phase we begin to shine a light into those cracks and crevices within that we hide from ourselves. Those hidden places where we stuff old wounds. Pain follows and denial and fighting as the ego tries frantically to hold on while the soul is crying out to heal.
Attraction is important in order to create the closeness that is needed for the lessons to be delivered. Souls connect and fall in love because they know that a great healing is about to take place (or is about to be given the opportunity to). On a soul level, we fall in love with the healing and our soul wants to heal, even though it may take us to hell and back to do so. It doesn’t work without the pain because we will do anything to avoid pain, even hide our hearts in the sand in denial, pretending that it isn’t happening or that we can ‘fix’ it. Wrong! The only thing we can ‘fix’ is the pain held deep within and to do that we need to face it, dig it out and clean it up.
We think we are in love with the person (it’s possible), but it is really the prospect of the healing that we get excited about. We can go beyond the pain and the hurt and continue to love the person because we are all just doing our best to survive and protect ourselves in a living hell. To move beyond the pain that we inflict, and that we have inflicted upon us, and to hold the love for the real person, the energy of the higher self is something that has to be arrived at somewhere, in some life, so why not now, in this one? This can happen, even if the relationship, as we humanly desire it, is not tenable. eg “I do not love your behaviour, and I will not tolerate abuse, but I love you, the inner you, the real you, truly and deeply”. This can also be done from a distance.
It is important not to confuse a teacher with a messenger. Once we realise that something more than romantic love is afoot, it is easy to think the ‘teacher’ has arrived when it is in fact a ‘messenger’. Often times the messenger has no idea they are delivering a lesson. It is highly likely that they are just a person damaged or in pain. We are attracted to each other, not realising that it is our pain recognising a kindred spirit’s pain and falling in love with it. If you are sufficiently evolved, you will eventually recognise this but don’t be fooled into thinking that your loved one will understand the dynamics and choose to heal along with you. It can happen but not often! More likely, you will need to go and find a teacher in the form of an emotional/spiritual therapist.
We can choose to hold on to or heal from our pain. The deep ache of losing a relationship is due to not having learned the soul’s lesson and knowing that you will have to repeat until you do. You may still have the pain of loss but the euphoria of the healing far surpasses it and affects every aspect of life. It is akin to recovering from a long, debilitating illness.
Kate Mchardy MA(Hons) PGCE MSPH.
Spiritual coach, teacher and healer.
The University of Light Group
email@example.com • +44 7712889534